Almost Half of India’s Population Believes Spousal Violence Is Fine

In mid-April, Yogini Sukumar Pawar, a 36-year old woman in Kolhapur in the western Indian state of Maharashtra, died by suicide. In a note, the woman, a police constable, cited domestic violence as the reason for her decision to end her life. Like millions of other Indian women, Pawar was a victim of spousal violence. Being a cop herself, she had easy access to the police to complain about her assailant. Yet she didn’t, choosing to end her life rather than take action against her husband.

Domestic violence is a serious problem in India. As in other parts of the world, the full extent and severity of the problem is not visible as most victims hesitate to report or even talk about their suffering.

According to the latest National Family Health Survey (NFHS-5), 29.3 percent of all Indian women in the 18-49 age group have experienced some form of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse in the family. Husbands are the perpetrator of violence in 80 percent of domestic violence cases.

First conducted in 1992-93, the NFHS is a multi-round survey carried out every five years under the stewardship of the Ministry of Health and Family Welfare; the latest – NFHS-5 – was conducted in the 2019-21 period. The survey covered 630,000 households across the country, including 724,115 women and 101,839 men. Data from the NFHS provides valuable insights into a wide array of issues including immunizations, fertility, sanitation facilities, problems like malnutrition and anemia, access to healthcare, domestic violence, and more.

NFHS-5 data reveals a link between domestic violence and the level of education and economic situation of the victim and of the perpetrator. Forty percent of women without schooling suffered spousal violence compared to 18 percent who had completed their schooling. Men who have completed 12 or more years of schooling are half as likely (21 percent) as those who have no schooling (43 percent) to perpetrate violence on their partner.

Of particular concern is how men and women perceive spousal violence.

Forty-five percent of female respondents and 44 percent of male respondents believe that wife beating is fine if the woman has not carried out what are perceived to be her duties. Therefore, they justified a husband beating his spouse if she did not cook properly, left the house without informing him, or refused sexual intercourse. While 11 percent of women and 9.7 percent of men felt a wife should be beaten for refusing sex, 22 percent of women and 20 percent of men believed a woman needed to be beaten for arguing with her husband.

Surprisingly, India’s supposedly less patriarchal southern states lead when it comes to such thinking. Take the southern state of Karnataka, for instance, whose capital is Bengaluru, widely seen as India’s tech capital. Around 76.9 percent of women and 82 percent of men surveyed in Karnataka believed spousal violence is fine, as did 83.8 percent of women and 70.8 percent of men in Telangana, 83.6 percent of women and 66.5 percent of men in Andhra Pradesh, and 78.3 percent of women and 56.2 percent of men in Tamil Nadu.

Perceptions justifying spousal violence lay bare how deeply patriarchal and misogynist Indian society is. What is particularly disturbing is the extent to which acceptance of misogyny and violence have been internalized by women.

India has largely depended on legislation to tackle domestic violence. The enactment of the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005, was an important step in this regard. It covered not only violence perpetrated on a married woman by her husband and his family members, but also applied to unmarried women living with partners as well as those living in a shared household related by consanguinity or adoption.

However, legislation has not adequately addressed the problem of domestic violence. A part of the reason is a lack of awareness. Most Indians, especially in rural India, are unaware of the existence of the law. But even those who know of the law are unwilling to go to police stations and report abuse.

At best, women may discuss abuse with a close family member. But even this is a rarity. Upholding family honor is important for many Indians and to reveal what is happening within the four walls of one’s house is considered shameful.

Many women grew up watching their father beat their mother. They grew up believing that spousal violence was natural and inevitable and as the NFHS-5 data reveals, justified. They grew up believing that it is their duty not only to cook, clean, and bear male children, but also accept whatever comes their way, including abuse. They believe that a woman should be obedient and that a rebellious woman – however, small her act of rebellion may be – should be chastened, even violently.

A woman who justifies the violence her partner metes out to her is in effect taking the blame for the violence, accepting that she is not a “good wife” or “obedient daughter-in-law.” The social stigma attached to spousal violence is high and stands in the way of abused women seeking help.

Even if a woman were to go to the police or the courts, she is unlikely to get justice. Police and judicial personnel are notorious for their patriarchal mindsets. In all likelihood, a woman would have to listen to a lecture from a male or even female cop or judge on how to “adjust” to her abusive husband.

India needs a multi-pronged approach to tackle domestic violence. More helplines and counseling services are needed, as are police stations and courts that deal with victims sensitively. There is an urgent need for spreading awareness about helplines, laws and institutions that protect abused women.

Importantly, there is a need to change the mindsets of men and women about gender relations, patriarchy, and violence. So long as school textbooks encourage girls to be submissive and obedient and boys to be manly and tough, the battle against domestic violence cannot be won.